Kenalan aku dari Sabah kata, "Kak, kalau jumpa nanti kat sini, saya bawa kakak kat kawasan ni. Menikmati nature. Boleh mandi-mandi".
Nature makes me think alot about makhluk lain you know but when she mentioned about 'mandi' , my thoughts become worst. I was like, BIG NO MAN, NO WAY!. Aku tak pernahlah mandi laut, mandi sungai, apatah lagi nak menikmati keseronokkan yang orang lain buat kat Sunway Lagoon. Tak kisah lah kalau ada yang cakap, "Rugi la tak mandi-manda..". Tak apa sis... I okay jer... Lagi mampos kalau saya turun kat air tu.
WHY is that?
Because you have no idea WHAT I SEE WHEN..
When I see the water I see myself drowning. I can't control my thoughts. I'm afraid. What if it's become real? When I see myself drowning, I never say, "Help". I just let myself drown alone.
...And it's not just water.
When I stay on top of the building and look down, I see myself jump. I wonder what is the feeling before you reach the floor. What will you think? Do I feel regret jumping? mungkin kau nampak malaikat jemput nyawa kau.
When I see the knife, using the knife, touching the knife...
I see myself cutting my hand.
I see myself stabbing my heart.
I see myself with blood.
Do you wanna know more about WHAT I SEE WHEN...?
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